A great evening walk

So... with renewed energy i make my first blog entry in eons. I am now on day 9. I realize there have been many "day 9's" in the past but I shouldn't let that phase me, and I do realize that changing my lifestyle will forever be a daily struggle, one that i will always have failures and successes in. With that said, I feel like im doing great and I am in the same groove as i was in last summer with all my success. I have been going to the gym (I have joined spa lady and its great) and have been doing more cardio than i even did last year! Andrew gave/lent (not sure which) me his mp3 player and loaded it with good work-out tunes. I feel great when I am working out. Tonight, on top of working out AND breaking out the bike for the first time this season, Andrew and I went on a walk downtown by the golfcourse, and down by the river. It felt amazing to be outside. When I am elevating myself and doing physical things I feel like a different person. I feel like I am so much closer to being the person I want to be. We climbed a long stair case and I was out of breath, but it felt so amazing to be high up and i could see the river and all the trees below me and that feeling is indescribable. Andrew was also such a good person to go with because he really is patient with me and goes at my pace. Also, I am not afraid to admit my weaknesses to him and he doesn't judge me for them. I am so excited to encorporate evening walking in the river valley into my exercise routines for the summer. I would love to maybe go on some hikes closer to the end of the summer and maybe in the fall. I Do still get discouraged and earlier today was one of those days. I can't really describe why. I have lost 5 lbs in 8 days. that is a huge accomplishment, and Im off to a great start. But i find that when i weigh myself, even if i've lost, I am reminded of how far i have to go and also, how i've done the "lost 5 lbs" before and all the times i've failed. It is for this reason that I will try to only weigh myself every 2 weeks or even less frequent. I know that some ppl would say that weighing myself should be a weekly thing to make sure I am doing thigns right and the weight loss is working, however if i risk feeling bad about myself and falling off the wagon, i dont see it as a good thing. I should instead go by how I feel, how my clothes fit, and so on. I will rely on the confidence i gain, adn the compliments i receive from my coworkers and family/friends. Last year i received LOTS and i think i will again because i know im going to make this work.

A large element in my success is cutting out the fast food, which i have successfully done so far. Fast food is SUCH an addiction for me. I hate and love it at the same time. I want it out of my diet. Perhaps in the future It can become an occaissonal treat, but i really want to be the kind of person that has fast food extrememly infrequently. I wish that andrew could understand a bit more about my addiction to fast food. He says he understands but im not sure he really knows how when he eats fast food infront of me i really feel like crying because i want it so bad and how hard it is for me to go with him to mcdonalds and watch him eat it. I guess i shoudln't expect my lifestyle change to be everyone else's change too... but it really is like dangling cocaine infront of a recovering addict.

I am writing down what i eat and so far my diet has been really really good. Im so excited to be making dinners at home and packing lunches for work adn actaully havign good breakfasts! Im excited to get up in the morning and see how well i will do!

here's to another great start!